Keep the change

I don't like change.

Not in the slightest. I'm not sure what kind of person that makes me
but once I'm comfortable, I like to stay put.

Everything's changing right now. Or it's changed already.

I remember 7 years ago. Last day of year 6. Emotional times. I have a
photo in my room of me and my 4 bumchums, arms around one another,
faces red and eyes puffy from crying. When it was time to leave Maya and I sat at our desks (those oldschool Victorian ones with inkwells
and lids) and said that we were not ever gonna leave, they'd have to
carry us out. Eventually we left but I remember going home and just
crying. I'm not good with change.

And now here comes another huge step that I don't feel like I'm ready
to take. I know I probably am actually. But maybe I don't wanna be. I
know that a little while down the line I'll be having the time of my
life but right now, I just wanna stay put.

I worry sometimes that I didn't treasure my childhood enough, or
didn't take advantage of all the opportunities I had. I reckon I did.
But even if I hadn't. What can I do now?

I'm excited. But more scared.
Way more scared. I've attempted writing a poem, but I just can't seem
to express exactly how I'm feeling. It's all a bit much.
I'm overwhelmed.

My heart aches for the past. Like literally, it hurts.