10 Days Into February (Delayed Post)

I have been such a busy bee these past few days it's insane.

For a while I was past the state of exhaustion, it was straight delirium ha.

18th birthday celebrations have been order of the day. Spent a weekend in Madrid with my wonderful girlies. It seems that I just have bad luck when it comes to travelling. Went to Rome last May(?) and on the last night after a really fabulous holiday, our hire car was broken into by gypsies (who I previously thought were supercool, perhaps I still do) and they took ALL our travel documents which my dad left in like a briefcase kinda wallet type thing under the seat! and it was dark. So the only way they would've known was that they were watching us and probably thought there was money in there :/ OH the drama it caused. My dad was so devastated cos he always carries everythingg around with him everywhere, we often tease him for it, and the one time he leaves it...Ho hum.

Then travelled to Malaysia in December. 60 hours in transit! 60 hours, I hear you cry. Yes! 60 hours, me and my sister. Most of those hours spent stranded in Amsterdam on account of the heavy snowfall. Oh it was a traumatic experience. 6 of those 60 hours were spent in a queue waiting to be put on a flight. We had no euros. We had no laptop or credit to call from Europe. Oh man. It was not cool. But thank God we got to Malaysia in time for Christmas.

And then Madrid. I get pickpocketed when we are travelling to the hotel from the airport via metro. Lost money, cards and new purse :( OH dear. These things happen. My sister sent me a really lovely text to cheer me up though. And I was grateful that we weren't taken advantage of more as tourists. You hear so many stories of rapes and kidnappings and murders, and we can't believe these things happen, but they do. Often. I am so thankful it's never happened to me. Well the latter clearly hasn't. Ha.

I've come to realise some things over these past few days that aren't really too fun however.
I've realised that I really am in this world and not of it. Which is a beautiful thing. But is also quite difficult in daily life. Especially in my life because of what I'm surrounded by.
I've succumbed to a few things that I shouldn't have this year.
I feel like I should stop trying to do what I've been trying to do because it's in vain. I'm a horrible person right now. Everything I've wanted not to be.

Some people need to be cut off. It's gonna be the hardest thing I think I will have ever had to do in my life thus far :(

My head is a mess right now.

Why does being bad always to have to feel so good?