Suicide.

Suicide is so deep.
I once remember having a conversation with my sister and her friend about whether we thought it was possible for a child to commit suicide. Like would that concept make any sense in their minds. When I say child, I'm thinking like up to 12 maybe.

Though in this day and age, kids know way too much, way too soon. I don't think children of today have the same worry free childhood that I did. There's just too much madness going on. Or maybe that's a huge generalisation. I don't know. I just feel like talking to 11 year olds doesn't feel like talking to kiddies anymore?

Saying that, I still don't reckon the average child would be able to kill themself. Kind of horrible to think about it but yeah. Surely they wouldn't willingly inflict pain on themselves? Kids can be kinda sadistic though. Choppin off Barbie's head, de-fluffing teddies, squashing flies and that kinda thing. But I think suicide would be unfathomable to most. Probably something they wouldn't even contemplate. Mmm.

Another one. Self-harm. That was like the thing in year 8, year 9 times.
It makes me sad to think that someone can be so discontented with their life that they voluntarily allow themselves to feel pain.
Being in the pain is the worst. It just feels like it's never gonna end. I should probably be more grateful for the 95% of my life in which I feel no pain.
Did I once hear though, that it gives you like a high, where you don't feel the pain in the first instance? Maybe. It's still pretty sad.
Confession time. I once did it in year 8. It was a pretty rough time in my life, I generally have a sunny disposition but I remember there were some friendship group issues and I just wasn't happy. I probably could've looked at the positive and been fine, which it seems I did later, but I think at the time, maybe I thought it was cool? Shame on me. Maybe not cool, but a lot of other people did it so maybe I thought it was okay. Haha. I can laugh at myself though, because I did it with a safety pin. No harm was done. Good job Sazza. Any faker haa. Anyway...

Scarlet River

And it's like a release
with each trickle of blood
it's like a moment of peace
and the pain it does ease
and the world seems to cease
and stop they say, please
but she can't seem to stop
and she's scared and she's got
too much on her mind,
it's like she's running out of time
and across the white plain,
the scarlet river streams
and like the egyptians she's plagued with unease.
It hurts, but she can't let the river run dry,
it's a thrill, giving her an unnatural high
she can't deal with the stress
so takes it out on her flesh
and her friends wanna help her get out of this mess
but it's not simple like a, b, c
it's gonna take more than the count of 3
cos each time she runs that cold, silver blade across her warm, white skin and let's that red stream of life come gushing out unstoppably
she feels like she's free.

CopyrightSarahOlowofoyeku2010.